That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
