But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
