Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
