his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
