Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
