Apparently you make a good broom.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize