oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize