I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
