You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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