we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
