i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
