VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize