I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize