2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
