hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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