On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize