Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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