Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
