I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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