hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
