I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize