Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
