your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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