Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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