3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
