is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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