yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
