She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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