I love having hate sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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