I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
