Where is the hickey?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
