There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
