my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
