i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
