I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize