drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
