the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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