We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
