**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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