Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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