Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
