grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
