So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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