i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
