I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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