um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
