not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
