so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
