i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
