I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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