whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
