eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
