is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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