we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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