i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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