great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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