All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
