He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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