kristin has been a bad kristin
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
