i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
