Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
