is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize